Have You Let Rejection
Other people's unthinking or malicious comments can cut to the quick if you let
them. But if you put them into perspective, you can diffuse their power and
move ahead towards where you want to go.
Stop You In Your Tracks?
Here are a couple of strategies to help you overcome a fear of rejection.
First, consider the source.
Often people make critical comments when a part of them - often unacknowleged
even to themselves - is envious of your youth, talent, opportunities, courage -
you fill in the blanks. They may resent you for striving towards a goal when
they don't have the courage to go after their own dreams. It happens more often
than you think, and if that's true of the critical or discouraging people in
your life, perhaps a more appropriate response would be pity. Thank them for
their concern or feedback, then walk away as fast as you can.
Draw the encouragement you need from your mastermind group, people who are
also following their dreams and refuse to stay stuck in a rut. And if you don't
have a mastermind group, start gathering one around you today.
Examine the comments.
Remember that any comment a person makes is only one opinion, and is dependant
on the context of the moment. Usually it's more about the person making the
comment than about you.
But sometimes you'll find a nugget of truth in the criticism, especially if
you've heard similar comments from other people. In that case, take a deep
breath, step back from your emotions and take an objective look at what's been
said. Maybe it's something you can use to improve yourself in some way.
As you've no doubt discovered, the world is full of critics, so if you want to
succeed in life, it's essential that you overcome your fear of rejection.
I wrote the following article several years ago when I ran a writers' web site.
While it's geared towards writers, the important thing about it is the message
it contains about rejection.
Take a look at what the so-called experts of the day said about writers who
went on to become literary giants. What happened to those critics? The same
thing that will happen to yours. They'll fade away into oblivion while you go
on to make your mark.
Here's the article:
Rejection - The Greatest Fear
Most writers share some form of antipathy towards rejection
letters. Professionals and highly motivated beginners learn to
live with them, but for many fledgling writers they become the
biggest stumbling block to achieving their dreams. Some find
themselves unable to send out that first submission for fear of
being rejected. Others overcome that initial barrier only to
find themselves paralysed once they receive one (or several) of
It can help to realise that you are in excellent company. Most
of the great writers of English have been rejected at some
point in their careers, many of them far more harshly that
those of us currently receiving the "Sorry but it doesn't suit
our list" type of response. The comments below serve to remind
us that rejections are not necessarily about a writer's lack of
talent; primarily they reflect the judgement (or lack thereof)
of the editor/s assessing the work. Often getting published is
about persisting long enough to connect with the "right" editor
who recognises the value of your material. That simply won't
happen if you stop submitting after publisher number six, when
publisher number twelve is the one who might respond to your
Here are 10 classic rejection quotes:
Now you know why publishers avoid writing
critiques on rejected manuscripts. How would you like to live
with yourself after committing those opinions to paper??
- On The Ipcress File by Len
Not only does this bog down in the middle, but the
author tends to stay too long with non-essentials. He
seems to have little idea of pace, and is enchanted
with his words, his tough style, and that puts me off
- On Lord of the Flies by William Golding
(Nobel Prize winner):
It does not seem to us that you have been wholly
successful in working out an admittedly promising
- On Catch 22 by Joseph Heller:
I haven't the foggiest idea what the man is trying to
say. It is about a group of American Army officers
stationed in Italy, sleeping (but not interestingly)
with each other's wives and Italian prostitutes, and
talking unintelligibly to one another. Apparently the
author intends this to be funny - possibly even satire
- but it is really not funny on any intellectual level.
He had two devices, both bad, which he works
constantly. It is a continual and unmitigated bore.
- On A Portrait of the Artist as a Young
Man by James Joyce:
The public will call the book unprepossessing,
unattractive. The point of view will be voted a little
sordid. And at the end of the book there is a complete
falling to bits. The writing and the thoughts are all
in pieces and they fall like damp ineffective
- On The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by
John Le Carre:
You're welcome to Le Carre - he hasn't got any
- On The Razor's Edge by W. Somerset
Not desirable. Much of the philosophy of life is
tedious and the author's view pessimistic and hopeless.
I think it is distasteful.
- On Animal Farm by George Orwell:
It is impossible to sell animal stories in the USA
- On Man and Superman by George Bernard
He will never be popular in the usual sense of the
word, and perhaps scarcely renumerative.
- On The Time Machine by H.G.
It is not interesting enough for the general reader and
not thorough enough for the scientific reader.
- On William Butler Yeats's poetry (Nobel Prize
Absolutely empty and void. It should really be the last
despair of mankind if Mr Yeats ever became popular. The
work does not please the ear not kindle the
imagination. It is to me sheer nonsense. Absolute
nullity. I would not read a page of it again for
And finally, consider these words from former U.S. president Theodore
"It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong
man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is
marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and
comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or
shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who
spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the
triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least
he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those
cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat."
This site is purely educational and we make no claims or
guarantees with regard to the information presented.
Please consult a certified NLP practitioner for
individual coaching in the use of NLP techniques. We
strongly advise consulting a financial industry
professional before embarking on a wealth creation
How To Change Any
Area Of Your Life… At Your Own
If there's something
in your life that stops you from
getting what you want, Michael
Norman offers a simple way to
Click on this graphic to find out
Hypnosis – Valuable Tool or
Before you make up your mind, read
British hypnotherapist has to say about this
controversial approach to change.
Or click on this image to try it for yourself: